Useful Tips

How to deal with bullying?


Every working person at least once in his life has faced harassment in a work collective. In the West, this phenomenon was attended about 10 years ago, dubbing it the English word "mobbing".
Since then, counseling centers have begun to open in Europe and the United States for corporate victimization.
Perhaps soon they will appear in Russia. In the animal kingdom, mobbing is when a herd of herbivores attacks a predator (from the English word mob - crowd). In the world of corporate cannibals, mobbing is the bullying of one employee by several colleagues, unfriendly or aggressive actions that are systematically carried out for a long time. It is difficult to recognize mobbing: both victims and aggressors prefer not to talk about it.

Mobbing is divided into “horizontal” (among employees of the same level) and “vertical” (among employees of different levels). Horizontal mobbing is most often applied to newcomers by older employees of the organization. This can happen if you see a competitor in a beginner or if he stands out from the general team. However, “old” employees who unexpectedly won the favor of their bosses or dramatically changed their lives can also poison.

Vertical mobbing often occurs if there is a desire to make room for promotion or if the boss wants to get rid of the employee for one reason or another, but cannot do it in a legal way, said Izvestia m, an expert in the company's personnel management Begin Group Mikhail Murashov. For example, a new boss needs to pick another team or save money on staff resources. Under the law, without serious reason, it is almost impossible to dismiss a subordinate. “It’s much easier to constantly blame the employee for incompetence, lack of discipline, set impossible tasks for him and finally force him to leave of his own free will,” notes Mikhail Murashov.

Medical studies have shown that mobbing at work leads to severe physical and mental injuries. A persecuted person spends all his energy constantly proving his professional and social viability. When psychoterror intensifies, the worker finds himself in social isolation, an information vacuum: he does not receive positive assessments of his actions, loses guiding lines, his self-image is destabilized. Psychosomatic symptoms accompanying stress appear: migraines, colds, impaired concentration, insomnia, circulatory disorders, etc. Chronic diseases gradually develop. Therefore, psychologists often advise victims of mobbing to simply change jobs. Or, at least, figure out if it’s worth those forces that require proof that you are not a “camel”.

What to do if you are being bullied
There are six rules that can help you figure out what's happening around you, and at least partially mitigate the consequences of corporate bullying.

1. Do not try to remember, write down!
German psychologists advise victims of corporate bullying to keep a diary. It is necessary to bring into it all the evil attacks against you. For example: “On April 27, colleague S.“ forgot ”to tell me about the deadline for completing the assignment. I was gloating when the chief yelled at me. Cattle. " Fixing all incidents will help determine the circle of opponents, their tactics and the distribution of roles. As well as their mistakes and miscalculations.

2. Find the main one.
As a rule, corporate bullying is not complete without an instigator. Almost certainly, the initiative comes from one person. And this is the one with whom you have an unresolved conflict. Perhaps it makes sense to talk with this person, try to eliminate the quarrel and establish contact.

3. Look for an ally.
It is very useful to find an ally among the attacking colleagues. After all, for sure one of them treats you with hidden sympathy. Someone may show common interests. By approaching such people, you can at least partially dilute the chorus of condemning voices.

4. Create your flock.
Surely you are not the only one. Looking around you will find a couple of colleagues who have experienced the same thing.

5. Follow the process.
The most important thing is to eliminate or minimize professional miscalculations for which you can be reproached. In the end, you go to work in order to do business. No bullying is able to knock the soil out from under the feet of a good specialist.

6. Talk to the chef.
Feel free to complain to the authorities. Any leader (regardless of the degree of his sanity) is able to understand that mobbing is harmful to business. Just wait for a particularly clear provocation to draw the attention of the boss to it.

What companies are mobbing?

The most fertile ground for the emergence of mobbing is an unhealthy situation in the team. Here is an incomplete list of hidden organizational problems that can turn your company into a serpentarium over time:

- unclear goals of the organization and its development strategies,

- lack of management skills among senior management,

- lack of feedback,

- vague boundaries of responsibility and official duties,

- unwritten decision-making mechanism,

- fuzzy division of labor between departments or employees, the possibility of duplicate or overlapping tasks,

- poor organization of information flows in the enterprise, as a result of which some employees consider the possession of information as a special kind of power,

- connivance to fans of intrigue and backroom games,

- staff turnover, frequent changes of top managers,

- lack of a system of career advancement and career opportunities,

- the prevalence of intimate or kinship between subordinates and management,

- sharply different motivation among employees,

- incorrect organization of labor and, as a result, a large overload of individual specialists.

So, if it is important for you to cope with such a phenomenon as mobbing, then group psychotherapy is an excellent platform for practicing this skill!
At the group it will become clear to you:
- what your behavior leads to these problems
- how to become more sustainable
- how to fight back
- how to learn to value yourself

A group is a small model of reality and under the supervision of therapists you can clearly track what is happening between you and others!

What are the origins of the issue and what are the possibilities for resolving it?

Of course there are many nuances, and there may be many options for resolving your situation, but the essence of the phenomenon is always similar, I will try to convey it.

What is important to realize at the very beginning, in situations of bullying (also called the term bullying), the matter is, of course, always mutual. It is pointless to look for reasons apart, on one side in isolation from the other. Both sides like a magnet attracted to each other, on both sides there is a charge that was expressed in a similar situation - there would be no attraction, the situation itself would not have arisen. It is important to realize this at the very first step, and if this understanding does not exist or there is clear resistance to this proposal, it is too early to move on.

But despite the presence of both sides, first of all, I consider the situation of the victim, since questions and discomfort and attempts to resolve the situation in most cases occur from the side of the one who is being bullied: how to resolve the situation itself and the own discomfort of the one who is being bullied, how to be man so that the situation is resolved? And here, with the exception of some successful coincidences, the exit vector is always the same.


We removed the inner emotional charge of resistance, the urge to fight with the victim. And here the magic happens: with someone who, not only outside but inside himself, does not experience vivid emotions of resistance and protest, it is not interesting to fight. Playing football with someone who does not support the game: does not play by the rules or against the rules is not interesting. In any other games, similarly, including games related to bullying.

If parents want to resolve the issue of bullying (bullying) not only in a specific situation, but in a holistic way, then only helping a child is not enough - this can solve a specific situation, but it would be more valuable to approach comprehensively and work with a specialist on your own, because I guarantee 99% that if at least one parent knows the real solution to such issues, without aggression, without suppression, and without drastic measures, then the child can easily get out of the bullying, and most likely, even with such a child it doesn’t get to bullying.

As a result of the topic of bullying:

For adults, the topic is also very relevant, since often unworked bullying from childhood in a slightly different form can easily continue at work or in the family: you can be more or less cruelly joked, teased, and kidding you, but you seem to have reconciled and learned "not to pay attention". But this attitude does not work - in any case, it is not easy for you, and the situation requires your participation and resolution.

Having removed the charge, it is important to "endure the storm", since the attacks instantly by a wave of a magic wand will not stop, they will surely come to naught, but gradually. Forwards will try to habitually play a favorite game with you, causing a familiar reaction on your part, and if there is no such reaction, the attackers will try to increase the pressure. And if the game doesn’t happen here, the attacker will certainly give up and leave to “play” in another place.