French writer and the thinker Nicolas de Chamfort said that a woman is like a shadow: when you run after her, she rushes away from you, but when you leave, she follows you. But at the time of Champhor, women occupied an exceptionally passive position in mating games and, as a rule, did not act as their initiators. Today, in the era of universal female emancipation, the fair sex is actively involved in building intimate relationships with the stronger sex. And what was revealed to women in this experience? Yes, only that men behave in exactly the same way!
Cold and calm, the absence of any attention bothers them and makes them seek love, but it is worth taking a couple of decisive steps in response to the apathy attacking the man, and he only casts a quick and lazy look at yesterday’s object of desire. The Lord, probably, makes fun of our comical cramps in the matter of arranging personal happiness.
Recently joining the active the game, women ask each other many questions and share experiences. Is it possible to approach a feather? How to properly show attention so as not to frighten off? Can I call first? Write first? From all this, sometimes my head begins to feel dizzy.
Yes, and modern "knights"they’re also disappointing, day by day more and more. They’ve become so timid - what can we say about dragons, if they’re afraid to even approach a lady of the heart? Most of the acquaintances are made on the Internet and on the Internet it remains. Rarely, what kind of communication reaches the stage of exchange Yes, and here a lot of new questions arise: is it worth to call herself or wait only for his call, what to do if he does not call, what to talk about and, most importantly, how to unobtrusively push the gentleman to more active actions? To date w, for example?
Well, let's start in order. Best not to call, and not at all because it is a sign of bad taste, it’s not so accepted and the grandmother scolds. Just, as already mentioned above, a man needs to seek a woman so that he does not lose interest in her. And, it is worth calling the first, and he will begin to imagine himself the first guy in the village. What can we say about the meeting - the girl should take the initiative and invite the guy to a meeting, in most cases he will immediately dismiss the peacock's tail. Of course, there are happy exceptions, but the exceptions are not in vain so named.
Generally, if the guy does not call a day or two, this is not a reason to put an end to relationships. It is possible that he himself follows some stupid pick-up textbook that tells him to be as restrained as possible in expressing his interest. But if there are no calls for three to four days, then you can already remind yourself. Not necessarily a call. This may be some message on a social network, SMS. But you do not need to write anything, like: "Why aren't you calling something?" - This is a losing option. It’s better to write something neutral. If he, so to speak, shows off, or was simply timid to call, he will call you back. If not, then you can most likely proceed to the next candidate.
Get a guy in you talking on a mobile is possible. He may not appreciate your beauty, but you can spur him on to more active actions. The first thing to learn is not to chat too much. Many girls, from excitement, and in order to seem like an interesting conversationalist, begin to chatter the clown about everything in a row, from their views on the monetarist theory to yesterday’s retelling in real time, until they hear a distinct snoring on the other end of the line.
It should be remembered that the best interlocutor is attentive listener. You can make a much better impression of yourself by stimulating your interlocutor to talk about yourself, rather than trying to interest yourself. It sounds somewhat paradoxical, but it works. If you talk about yourself, the interlocutor will be sure that you are arrogant and arrogant, fixated on yourself. If you listen, then the guy will immediately understand how smart you are and know how to communicate. And this is just what we need. Do not think that you always have to do only what to look into a young man’s mouth and catch every word of him, silently in a rag, this is not so. But, in the first stages it will be a reasonable decision to hold on to the language and more assent.
Do not forget to smile! It seems to many to be pointless, because mobile phones have not yet evolved enough to transmit a picture, so the interlocutor will not be able to see your charming smile. But it is not so. Talking with someone on the phone, we create in his mind his mental image. A smile during a conversation changes the tone of the interlocutor’s voice and articulation. Recognizing a smiling person by ear is usually not difficult. So, smile during a conversation with a guy on the phone and he will see, in reality, your attractive smile. So it will be easier for him to fall in love.
It often happens that "telephone relations"drag out, not in any way developing into something more meaningful and real. Most often this happens due to the excessive timidity of a young man who can not dare to do such an innocuous thing as an invitation to a date. Do not rush him, but from time to time to hint as transparently as possible that you are bored that you are tired of sitting all day at home, that no one is inviting you to walk in. And repeat these hints from time to time. At some point, your timid Romeo will still dare to feat and offer to take a walk somewhere Main ibud together do not laugh, because, most likely, the excitement -. it will be the most lopsided invitation to the date in your life.
Well, if invitations doesn’t act, then it’s quite possible to take the bull by the horns, openly asking why he does not invite you on a date. Why lose? This is better than just burying another relationship. Suddenly it will work? But this extreme method is better, of course, to save for extreme situations, when everything looks completely hopeless.
- We recommend visiting our section with interesting materials on similar topics "Psychology of relations"
Perhaps you have been shaking for several days in a row from each call and looking at the screen with hope, wondering if he is or not. Perhaps this call is very important and very long-awaited for you, but you probably do not want the man to feel your excitement. However, our voice very accurately reflects our emotional state, so before you answer, just pause a little. Take a little more air into your lungs and try to calm down the trembling in your voice. If this doesn’t work out for you, try lowering the tone of your speech. This technique is often used by public people before important speeches.
2. Be friendly
People whose work is associated with frequent telephone conversations know that this art has its own particular etiquette. For example, one of the rules of telephone etiquette says that you need to conduct a conversation, smiling. Thanks to this simple reception, your interlocutor will feel your friendliness and disposition towards him.
3. Encourage his conversation
In a real conversation, we easily read the interlocutor’s reaction to our words according to his look or facial expressions. In a telephone conversation, we don’t see our interlocutor and therefore we can’t always determine how interesting he is to listen to us. To interest a man, try to maintain a conversation by letting him speak. Do not interrupt his monologue, but at the same time, from time to time, give “signs of life”. Listening to him, sometimes clarify some details, ask again and just emphasize that you are very interested.
4. Give compliments
Compliments are always appropriate, even when talking on the phone. However, do not go too far so that the compliment does not turn into open flattery. For example, you can tell a guy that his voice is similar to the voice of some famous singer, or that only an exceptionally kind person can have such a pleasant timbre. If in a conversation with you a man feels his own peculiarity, he will surely want to continue acquaintance.
5. Name him by name
If you want to please a man, instead of faceless pronouns, call him by name. The sound of a proper name is pleasant to hear for every person. In addition, this treatment gives the conversation intimacy. But, again, do not overdo it. If you repeat his name too often, it will seem strange and unnatural.
6. Be laconic
If a guy asks you what you did tonight, you don’t need to describe his pastime in great detail. Just say that you went to meet friends or solved work problems. Let in your speech there will be a share of understatement, which the man himself will think up.
7. Don't be afraid to ask questions.
If you are talking with a stranger, do not be afraid to ask questions that are of interest to you. Of course, questions about his earnings or the desire to start a family are better left to a later stage of dating, however, you may well be interested in his profession, musical preferences, favorite places to relax, etc.
8. Speak consistently
In a conversation with a guy, do not skip from one topic to another. Men more easily absorb consistent and logically structured speech. Therefore, if your conversation went along the same lines, but you suddenly remembered something important, agree or listen to the end and only then start a new topic, otherwise it will be difficult for a man to understand the course of your thoughts.
9. Focus on common topics.
Even if you are talking with a new guy, try to find similarities that unite you. Perhaps you like to read one book or listen to one music, or maybe both of you are fond of sports or you cannot imagine your life without going to the mountains. In order for your interlocutor to want to communicate with you in the future, he must feel a “soul mate” in you.
10. Remember Etiquette
According to the rules of etiquette, the phone call must end the one who started it. If you can no longer continue the conversation, just ask him to call back at your convenience. Having finished the conversation, the man will probably ask for permission to call you again or make an appointment. At this point, stop flirting and forget about your tactical laconicism. If you want to continue communication, clearly state the time convenient for you to talk or meet. Let the man know that he is interested in you.
The main condition for successful telephone flirting is your good mood. If a man calls you when you are excited, busy, or angry, it is best to ask him to call back later, citing employment. Unfortunately or fortunately, talking on the phone, it is impossible to understand the thoughts and mood of the interlocutor, so one of your wrong words or ambiguous intonation can discourage a man from wanting to continue communication.
25 topics to talk about
You can use all these topics everyday.
1. Plans for the weekend. Plan your leisure and relaxation, even if it's Monday. Firstly, it is fun and exciting, and secondly, you will look forward to a long-awaited weekend. Sites similar in theme to afisha.ua (for Ukraine) and afisha.ru (for Russia) will help you keep track of events that happen in your city.
2. Compliments. Talking about the qualities that you love is an integral part of any relationship. This topic will not only be pleasant, but will also show how much you value and value your sweetheart or lover. Try to praise your soulmate, give nice compliments and do it with feelings, with love.
3. Daily care. To be interested in what happened throughout the day, how he slept that night, how he spent a working day or a day studying, whether he or she was tired all day, whether something is disturbing - all this makes it possible to feel care from a loved one, which is important in a relationship.
4. Work. One of the places where we spend a large amount of our time is work (study). At work, events occur daily. Conflicts and all kinds of situations often arise in the workplace. Also, talking about work, it will be easier for both of you to understand each other from a professional point of view.
5. Little secrets. It's always interesting to talk about secrets. You can make it a game, taking turns revealing one secret. It is fun and very fun.
6. Films, entertainment, shows. Every year there are more and more films. If we are not on the TV screens, as it was before, then we look at everything on the computer. Discussing a new movie or show is a good reason to talk.
7. Food, cooking. Well, who doesn’t like a tasty meal? It is especially interesting when it comes to co-cooking. Even if a loved one or loved one is not a master at cooking, you can learn how to cook together. You can learn about your favorite and least favorite dishes together, share your cooking experience.
8. Dreams. Do you have a dream ? Share it, even if it is half feasible, or in your opinion not feasible, beloved or beloved will know a little more about you.
9. Rest. Plan your vacation together for a couple of days, a week or a month. Relaxing together will be the highlight of the entire calendar year.
10. Hobbies and interests. What do you like to do in your spare time ? Do you have a daily hobby? Share your hobbies, most likely your soulmate may have several hobbies that you like.
11. Friends. It is always good to know about each other's friends. This is another step to find out more about your surroundings and what you do when you spend time with your friends.
12. Personal achievements. Ask your beloved or beloved moments in life that they can be proud of. It can be personal achievements (at work, study, in any sport, etc.), which will be pleasant to remember and tell about.
13. Offer for help. If you can help in any business, offer your help. The more often you try to help and the more often you do something together, the closer you will be to each other.
14. Plans for the future. Plans for the future speaks of how you see yourself in a few years? Common goals always make relationships stronger and enable them to work together.
15. Self-improvement. Love is a good motive for self-improvement. This topic is very relevant for a loving couple. When you together strive to seem better for each other, relationships become stronger. Perhaps you would like to improve your personality traits or get rid of bad habits, talk about a previous quarrel, review your weaknesses and strive to eliminate them. Your every step towards improvement will be appreciated by your soulmate.
16. Parents. Another interesting topic, especially if you have not acquainted your beloved or beloved with your parents, she or he will probably be interested to know about your parents and your relationship with them.
17. Problems in the bed. If there are problems in the bed, do not debug them. At some point, they will return anyway, therefore it is better to solve them immediately. If your beloved or beloved does not receive full pleasure, you should sit down and talk how you can solve it together.
18. Talk about sex. In relationships, sexual intimacy is just as important as romance. Talk about your sexually sensitive places, erogenous zones, poses that you would like to try, your secret desires and fantasies and everything that turns you on in bed.
19. Health. Taking care and asking about the health of a loved one or loved one is no less important than taking care of everyday problems.
20. Tips. If you are well versed in resolving any issue, problem, situation, you can give advice. Tips can be useful for improving personal qualities, doing things at work, everyday privacy, etc.
21. Your past. Topics about your childhood, what happened to you before you met. Talking about ex is better not to touch.
22. The future. What would you like to do in this life? The topic may include intellectual conversations that can help you learn the opinion of your other half about life and activities that are important to them.
23. Preferences. Sometimes it can be talk about little things in life that can drag on for several hours. Talk about your likes and dislikes. From time to time, preferences change, and the more you know about current preferences, the more you know about your beloved or beloved.
24. Personal opinion. If you really love, do not keep your thoughts to yourself if you want to share something or speak out. Your soulmate will appreciate that you always try to discuss any topic and pay attention to any issue.
25. Memories. This is always a pleasant topic in order to remember the first hugs, the first kiss, the first words “I love you”, the places where you have been together, the funny stories that happened to you.