Useful Tips

TV is a family killer


Perhaps you will grin and reproach the author for his incompetence - they say that really something, and there is a TV in almost any modern family. There is. And the goal of the article is by no means to tell about its harm, about the existing harmful radiation ... Most families have a TV! And this is definitely not a big problem. In what really helps you (or your psychologist) understand that somewhere there are minor (or significant) difficulties - we will deal with you now.

"Symptom" first - the TV works all day.

Many people do not notice the problem of working all day long TV. “What's wrong with that?” - inveterate skeptics will argue with me - “I turn it on for the background so that it’s not boring and quiet at home.” Imagine yourself being in a noisy crowd (in a market or in a supermarket) from morning to late evening. Will you soon feel significant discomfort? Will you soon feel that your head hurts somewhat, there is slight dizziness? Do you know the feeling of tiredness after visiting similar (or similar by analogy) institutions? Yes! Now imagine that you create this noise imperceptibly purposefully for yourself in your everyday life (or weekend). What kind of rest can we talk about? Your mood in the evening will be ruined, as you think, for no reason.

One of "Diagnoses" the TV is on all day - an evening quarrel between spouses or parents and the child. This will happen with a high degree of probability, because the growing tension should have some kind of “psycho-physical” way out, if you like.

"Symptom" of the second - one TV is not enough.

When there are more than 1-2 TVs in a house, this raises serious suspicions about the quality of family relations. Just think it over. Read the question, pick up a piece of paper and analyze - How do you imagine a warm, cozy family evening?

There may be many answers, but here is what, in my opinion, will sound in one form or another in any sheets:

1) Friendly atmosphere

2) An interesting discussion of something

3) Watching a movie with the whole family / reading aloud articles / books

4) A hearty and tasty dinner (which, most likely, all family members did together)

5) Joint walk

6) Joint games / fun

We can continue the long-awaited and beautiful list, right? But our goal is to understand what the second symptom is talking about. Strongly diverges the idea of ​​a joint evening with the need for the number of televisions equal to the number of family members? Here you will find a way to object - they say that TVs are, of course, a disaster, but in the evenings, often everyone on the phone and tablet is the problem. And this is also a problem - I agree. But only if the search for information using such gadgets is scattered or when the subject of personal employment is not a discussion of the whole family!

What can follow when each family member watches “his” TV in the evening?

Diagnosis: fragmentation, lack of psychological closeness between family members, lack of a common “warm” family space, as one of the serious scenarios for the development of the event - divorce. Family does not bind anything. Everyone lives their own "Television" life. It’s not interesting at home. You understand ...

"Symptom" the third - "series-melodramo-addiction"

No one is against the fact that the family will find one interesting series and find it 30-40 minutes in the evening (who knows it - for example, at dinner) in order to “Take a break” from the informational background of work and everyday affairs, laugh heartily or experience empathy for the character sitcom. This is quite normal. But there is an extreme manifestation of it - when someone (usually one family member) is daily fascinated by TV shows or watching melodramas for 2-3-4 hours. A reasonable question arises - when will the time come for the family? And, perhaps, the irritation is not due to the fact that the child is to blame for the complexity of the school curriculum, but to the fact that his mother (or father) was “not allowed” to see how the heated relationship of Vera and Vasily from the series ends.

Diagnosis (or that which may arise as a result of someone’s series-melodrama dependence): disharmony of family relations, the accumulation of mutual claims (after all, there are always things to do in the family, and when everyone is looking for the guilty one, because he was not allowed to watch all the series that he wanted so much - the number of claims is growing).

This is just a small list of how to understand that in your family, TV is not the most favorable place. You can independently analyze other “symptoms” that you can detect.

In order to understand how true the TV is in your home, answer the following questions for yourself:

1) How often does the TV in my house work “without a viewer”?

2) Is I ready (a) to refuse to view a particular program (series) in favor of reading a book, viewing that useful information that is interesting to me on the Internet?

3) Do I get enough of the information I need (do I satisfy some of my needs) when I watch TV in the amount that is happening now?

4) Can I find an alternative way to spend a family evening, rather than watching talk shows, movies and TV shows on TV?

5) Do I devote enough time to my family? Or is there an imaginary search for an easy evening pastime hiding from your loved ones, the search for any activity, rather than talking with family?

6) How can I change my attitude towards television and the attitude of my household?

TV ... it would seem - such a trifle! But take literally 3-5 minutes to think about it - but does it interfere with you, your well-being and harmony in your home?


Imagine a typical day of an ordinary family.

An ordinary family, for example, consists of a husband, wife, children 3 and 9 years old.

For some reason, such an example occurred to me, the composition in this case is not very important.

In the morning, parents wake up, turn on the TV in the bedroom, then get up, wash, dress, wake up the children, help get one to go to kindergarten, the other to school, turn on the TV in the kitchen, maybe have breakfast, watch TV, push each other in gatherings and then disperse by their own business.

One child, for example, a mother, takes to kindergarten. The other is already going to school, and dad immediately goes to work. Then mom goes to work.

The day goes on in public. Evening.

Mom from work comes for the youngest child to kindergarten, the eldest son comes after additional classes himself, dad arrives from work, slightly delayed.

Mom prepares dinner and invites everyone to the table. They turn on the TV to watch a series, or news, or football. No matter what, the main “magnet” is turned on. And all the attention that could be given to their loved ones at the table is focused on the blue screen. And whoever, whatever they say, is just a backdrop, everyone’s attention is scattered.

There is such a thing in psychology as “being here and now”. That is, at any moment in time to feel, see and hear what is happening. If you eat and think about something else, the taste of food is not for you. If you listen to a person, while your eyes are on the TV screen, then you do not delve into what they are telling you.

Such half-hearted communication cannot be called quality.

And so it happens every day.

Instead of having a massage after a hard day and gossiping at night with a continuation of pleasant intimacy, the husband watches the nightly sports news in the bedroom, lying in bed. All!

On the intimate side of family life, you can put a big and fat cross.

TV becomes more interesting than live chat.

Time in modern life is the most valuable resource, in the pursuit of goods, people can spend a very small amount with close people. And this amount is spent inefficiently.

And also the interests of the TV people are different.

The wife in the kitchen watches the series, the husband in the bedroom is football or boxing, for example. They are found only at the refrigerator to throw in a piece of food, not really paying attention to the fact that it is - the brain is occupied by another.


Okay adults, and children?

Until about 3 years old, the children's brain absorbs all the information that comes to it without filtering. And at an older age, the child's cognitive ability is so great that it looks like a sponge. Just pour it - it will absorb everything!

And if the TV works in the background. How much useful information comes from this background?

I recalled a cool film with Jim Carrey “The Cable Guy”, where it was just shown how a child raised by a “TV” can grow up. It would be funny if it were not so real. Look, if you have not watched, there is something to think about.


Have you ever wondered why a TV was created?

To not be bored? Or maybe to convey useful information?

Or maybe this is a cool tool for mass control?

If the stars light up, then someone needs it.

The television industry is a huge machine in terms of costs. Just like that, billions of money would not have been invested in it if it had not brought such benefit and power.

No wonder the seizure of power and a coup in the country at one of the first stages involves the seizure of a television broadcasting studio.

TV set - this is power over the minds of millions. And if you are pleased to be a puppet - continue to watch it.

After all, living the lives of strangers is much easier than solving their problems.

He came home, turned on his favorite series and weep or laugh at their lives, and at this time his own flows by.

Interest in relatives disappears, the husband seeks spiritual closeness with friends or girlfriends, the children find someone to chat on the street, and the wife weeps over the problems of some “Sasha and Masha”.

Even without a TV at home, I can name a few TV shows and TV shows. Advertising reaches even those who don’t have a TV. What can we say about those who have it!

Again, recalling the lectures in APPO about the impact on a large group of people, the teacher talked about the media. The fact that the television program is not drawn up anyhow, but with a clear expectation of the desired effect.

For example, in case of problems in society and the situation is escalating, there will be more humorous programs, lyrical films and relaxing programs. You will not see action movies and horrors. No need to increase aggression! And accordingly, on the contrary, if necessary, society will be pumped up with blood and aggression in order to arouse anger.

These are the sad realities that I learned while studying as a psychologist!

On the other hand, I prefer to know and understand what and why is happening to me and my life, rather than harbor illusions and hope for someone.

We said TV NO and do without it wonderful.

Yes, we have a computer. Yes, we watch movies and shows in recordings. BUT! We ourselves are looking for what we want to watch and choose the time for this, and do not adapt to the TV program.

In any case, there is no television background in our family. And while eating and talking, the computer monitor is turned off.

I don’t know how much I was able to reveal the topic and make you reconsider your attitude to television and its role in your life, I expressed my opinion on this subject.

Try to spend a couple of evenings with the TV turned off and maybe you will learn something new and interesting about the life of your loved ones! Spend as much quality time as possible with your family!

Love your family more than the big TV screen!

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Regards to you, Margarita Mamaeva