To achieve his goal, the scoundrel can use all his cunning. Sometimes such people are experts in human psychology or subconsciously feel which of his entourage can give slack. Hypocrites lie, play on the feelings of others and weave intrigues.
It is possible to convict a vile person of a lie, if you compare the facts, analyze what he says. Most likely, this unprincipled individual will be punctured somewhere. Only a seasoned liar can endlessly lead everyone by the nose for their own benefit. Observe the facial expressions and gestures of a person who does not inspire confidence in you, whom you suspect of lack of honesty.
If he lies, you will see a discrepancy in the sense of his words and body movements that are not amenable to control.
When you understand that a person has his own hidden motives, and he is ready to substitute others for his own benefit, you will be on your guard. The more people are aware that this person cannot be trusted, the less stable will be the position of the scoundrel. For example, if we are talking about a work team, try to open your colleagues the eyes of a mean person.
In order not to become part of someone’s vile plan, learn to defend yourself from manipulation. The main tool that will help you, already with you, is your intuition. If you subconsciously feel discomfort when interacting with a person, perhaps he is trying to use you.
Do not go to the scoundrel for a reason. If you do not do what he wants, you will break his plans. This is the most effective way to deal with the hypocrite. After all, an open confrontation is not suitable here. A frank scandal calling for a scoundrel’s conscience will help you little. Believe me, the scoundrel will be able to get out, and you will remain in the cold.
Try to communicate less with those people from whom the negative comes. If you are forced to do this, for example, by official duties, limit the time of talking with him to a minimum.
Show your confidence, strength of character and insight. Be calm and skeptical. Most likely, scoundrels will not touch such people.
Do not devote unverified acquaintances and colleagues to the details of your personal life. Otherwise, the insidious person will take advantage of your frankness and in the future will be able to use the information received for their dirty purposes.
In no case do not gossip with random witnesses and do not even release innocuous remarks to third parties that are absent at the time of the conversation. Otherwise, you may be drawn into some kind of intrigue against your will.
The main thing when meeting with hypocrites is not to be disappointed in other people. Believe me, not everyone around is capable of meanness.
Tip 2: What to do if you are being called
What, for example, would a violent peer tease a name-calling student? Of course, you can try to defend your dignity by using force. And in some cases, this is really the only way, alas, there are people who do not understand another language. But, firstly, the offender can be stronger physically. Secondly, there may be several. Thirdly, it can be not the offender, but the offender. Do not beat the girl (albeit frankly mean)! In general, it is worth taking physical strength only in extreme cases.
First of all, the child and his parents should clearly and clearly understand that a painful reaction to offensive nicknames (anger and, especially, tears) is a real gift to those who tease him. And the stronger the child will show that he is hurt by insulting nicknames, the more willingly and zealously they will continue their “dirty deed”. Unfortunately, there are such people, there is no way to get away from this. As a rule, they “eat” due to the tears of strangers, this adds to them a certain superiority (of course, in their opinion).
Therefore, no matter how difficult it may be, you should try to control yourself. The best response to all the efforts of the offenders is contemptuous indifference. Very soon they will get tired of “shaking the air” in vain, and they will lag behind, switching to searching for another “victim”.
If it is impossible to endure their antics - you can try to "beat the enemies with their own weapons." The offender (or offenders) must have their own “weaknesses”. You just need to look closely and find them. Anyone who is used to taunting others usually does not expect that he himself may turn out to be an object of ridicule, moreover, very sharp and caustic. The stronger will be the shock of the "wits" when they begin to call names.
Well, if nothing helps, then you should transfer the child to another school.
- what to do if the school name-calling
How to differentiate between prejudice and exactingness
As a rule, parents learn about problems in the relationship between the teacher and their child from the mouth of the child. And, of course, he brings his subjective assessments and emotions to the story, often drawing a line: "She (he) does not love me and finds fault with me." It is difficult for mothers and fathers in this situation to understand whether this state of affairs is an objective reality or the result of a student’s suspiciousness or imagination. In addition, many children perceive the demands of the teacher as a manifestation of a biased attitude. Therefore, it is very important for parents to draw up the correct picture of the existing relationship. For this:
- talk more often with your child about topics related to school life - it will become clear where the truth is, and where are the fantasies,
- pay attention to the child’s academic performance in the subject taught by the teacher who claims your schoolchild (if the grades drop sharply, then work out with the child or hire a tutor, then you can conclude that the grading is objective),
- go to school, talk with teachers and the class teacher, but do not do this “about”, but as a performance monitoring (neither the child nor the teachers need to know the true reasons for visiting the school).
Thus, you will be able to understand what kind of relationship your student has with teachers and students. And also to find out whether the teacher is really biased towards the child, or simply demanding on the quality of knowledge.
How to psychologically set up a child
Relations between people are multifaceted, so it is not surprising that someone likes and someone does not. Not an exception and interpersonal relations between teacher and students. The teacher is the same person as everyone, so he may have likes and dislikes. Some teachers love active, curious students, some like disciplined tikhoni. Of course, a professional teacher knows how to hide his emotions, but sometimes there are exceptions. In this case, a conflict occurs with three participants:
The task of the latter is to find a way out of the situation with minimal losses for the emotional health of the emerging personality. Therefore, it is very important to properly configure the child in this particular situation:
- More often tell your child how you love him - the child must be sure that he is received and loved by the closest people,
- Explain that any child, even a small one, is also a person, and no one has the right to insult, ridicule or humiliate him,
- Examine the conflict situation with maximum objectivity - regardless of who was wrong, explain to the offspring why, this behavior is unacceptable,
- Together with your child, try to outline a strategy for behavior in case the teacher finds fault or allows insults,
- Outline a plan for further joint action (talking with a teacher, principal, moving to another class or school) to resolve this situation.
How to get rid of a biased attitude
Quibbling, prejudice from the teacher, as a rule, do not go away on their own, so parents need to take active measures to resolve the conflict. There are several ways:
- open conversation with the teacher
- conversation with representatives of the administration (director, head teachers),
- transferring a student to another class or school,
- public coverage of the problem in the media.
We will analyze each of them. The easiest and most correct way out is to talk with the teacher. Having determined the reasons why the teacher disliked the child, you can find a joint way out of the conflict situation. On how to properly plan a conversation with a teacher, let us dwell a little later.
If the teacher does not go into conversation or does not consider it necessary to change his attitude towards the child, then you should contact the director or head teachers - they may have more compelling reasons convincing the teacher to reconsider their behavior.
It is interesting! Every year, about 20% of children go to other schools because of teachers' nit-picking.
When the conflict is too long, and the teacher’s attitude negatively affects the psychological and emotional state of the student, it makes sense to transfer the child to another class or school. However, you should not see in this method a panacea for any difficulties - in your life your child will have many meetings with uncomfortable or conflicting people, therefore it is not recommended to create greenhouse conditions for him in childhood.
If the teacher not only allows himself public insults, but also uses physical force against the child, and this is confirmed, then such flagrant violations of children's rights should be covered in the media with the involvement of social services and law enforcement agencies.
How to build a conversation with the teacher
Knowing about the problem in the relationship of the student and teacher only from the child, it is impossible to form a complete opinion on the reasons for the nit-picking on the part of the teacher. Therefore, the best way is to talk with the teacher. However, for the conversation you need to prepare and conduct it in such a way as not to aggravate the situation. So, going to talk with the teacher:
- Try to make an appointment in person, not through the school’s administration.
- Choose the right time. It is best if it will be after school, but not at the end of the working day.
- It is desirable that the meeting be held face-to-face, but within the walls of the school (the best option is an office, serious conversations in the corridor are taboo).
- Try to make it clear to the teacher that you are not going to incriminate or blame him for anything.
- Start the conversation by indicating the desired result (“I would like our conversation to entail positive changes in relations with my son / daughter”).
- Be sure to stipulate the fact that you acknowledge some of the shortcomings of your child, and gently direct the conversation in the mainstream of the recognition that everyone has the right to make a mistake (if your child really did something wrong).
- Next, you should directly ask a question about the reasons for the dissatisfaction with your child. Perhaps, in this way, the teacher “takes revenge” for some actions addressed to him by the student (for example, an insult).
- Depending on the answer received, the conversation can go in two directions: mutual understanding and recognition by the teacher of their mistakes, or bitterness because of your attempt to convict the teacher of an unprofessional attitude towards children.
- In any case, you need to complete the conversation by thanking for the time taken.
Depending on what results you can achieve by talking with the teacher, it’s easier to outline a plan for further action.
Video: The teacher bickers towards the child. What to do?
All people live in captivity of their own errors and evaluations. But this often provokes errors and conflicts in interpersonal relationships. It is unpleasant when an adult in a difficult situation behaves on a par with children, speculating in his position, and even more so if this person is a teacher. However, such, unfortunately, is objective reality. And the main task of parents is to mitigate such a collision of a child with injustice.
The content of the article
The reasons for humiliation at work can be different: hostility to a new employee, dissimilarity of characters, lack of understanding of motives for human behavior, conflict of boss or employee. In any case, humiliation at work is a fairly common phenomenon, very unpleasant and painful for any employee who has undergone such an attitude. When a person has to work in such a stressful situation, constantly afraid to do something wrong, get another reprimand, he loses motivation, his faith in himself and all his desire to work disappear. And after the boss already, some subordinates can begin to behave with the employee in exactly the same way. Of course, in such conditions it is very difficult to stay in the workplace for a long time.
What needs to be done in this situation?
An employee who has been humiliated must first acknowledge this. Many do not want to notice humiliations, they think that such a leader’s behavior is the norm, since the boss says something offensive, then the employee is worthy of it. However, in most cases this is not so; no leader’s nit-picking can be expressed in the form of humiliation. You do not need to justify such actions, lose your temper, reduce your own self-esteem, if you are firmly convinced that you are doing your job well. Identify the main instigators of humiliation and those who support them, usually it can be two or three people, less often a larger number of employees. It should also be noted who sympathizes with you or at least stays neutral. These people can help you in the future. Now it’s worth trying to resolve the conflict or misunderstanding.
Resolution of conflict by the leader
To begin with, it's worth talking to your boss honestly. Perhaps he does not even understand what humiliates the employees. Tell us about your own fears and worries, try to smooth out his attitude, find out what you have done to him, what you’re doing wrong, why is he treating you so hard? In addition, try to contact him for advice or help, this may flatter him and he will change his attitude towards you.
The second way is to assemble your team from sympathetic or neutral people who do not take part in your humiliation. Chat with him, try to get closer - have lunch together, discuss interesting topics, ask for help or offer it yourself. It’s good if you manage to establish contact not only with the employees of your department, but also the neighboring one, and you will also know their superiors. Maybe one of them wants to transfer you to his department, then the humiliation will stop. But even if this does not happen, with the support of other people, you can try to arrange a small coup. Contact your superiors and try to explain the whole situation with humiliation. Tell everything calmly and be objective, ask to resolve the conflict. Usually, after talking with your superiors, your immediate supervisor can moderate your anger.
If this also does not work, set a goal, for example, to work out for six months or a year, to gain experience, and then quit. This, of course, motivates well, but it is worth doing this only as a last resort: when you need money, you like the job itself or it is a very prestigious place, an analogue of which will not be so easy to find. If you don’t have such reasons, feel free to leave this post. Do not hold on to it if you need to spend so many nerves.