Hello dear friends!
Sometimes amorous feelings overwhelm us and we cease to be guided by logic and common sense. Friendship and love are very strong emotions and sometimes, mixing everything in one glass, we get an explosive mixture.
What if a friend confessed his love? Often, there are two plot developments: total disregard and images of the image “what happened? - there was nothing” and a more painful option - unrequited love, which can not be explained.
Sometimes people are attracted to each other in a magnetic way, although they understand that they cannot be together. Some try to escape from such a relationship and break off any reason to see or hear a painful voice.
Others - choose the tactics of secret conversations, meetings and the illusion of love, under the guise of friendship. All this is difficult, painful for two participants in moral torture and will soon lead to consequences.
What to do in a situation where you do not want to lose a friend? How to explain to him the motives of his words and deeds? In fact, men can treat a woman as a friend. But there is an invisible barrier and signs, confusing which, you can see in another the object of secret desires and simple love.
And what? He or she was always there, they know all your mental cracks, it’s easy and fun with them. Where to find another such half? And then the most dangerous begins. Having come closer morally and spiritually, a person ceases to separate the vectors of acceptance and bestowal of emotions.
Like-minded people can express feelings openly, without fear of fear. Light touches, not carefully cast eyes and a joint pastime complement and nourish the relationship. And without them it becomes hard and sad.
A woman in her behavior with a man often remains a yoke. One way or another, but she feels the presence of masculine energy on the physical level, even if he is proudly listed as a faithful and reliable friend. A similar metamorphosis occurs with the guy.
The interpretation of emotions also depends on our behavior. If you allow yourself too much, then the person you are talking to may not correctly understand the hint and dream out ghostly castles in an embrace with you. A question arises, but what to do correctly and correctly in this case?
Analyze the situation
After the overwhelming news of a declaration of love, first of all it is worth understanding how this wonderful feeling was born. Perhaps you provoked a person?
Follow yourself, your behavior and words carefully. Pay attention to how you spoke with a friend, how you looked, what actions did you have? Try to avoid further flirty notes in your voice, languid looks and calls in the middle of the night.
Do not hug the person too intimately, allowing yourself vulgarity, albeit under the guise of friendship. For a girl, this may mean nothing. But the man regards such greetings as signs of attention and specific urges to action. If you want to maintain friendship, then it is worthwhile to understand that there are certain frameworks and rules, following which you will not attract “trouble”.
Dialogue is the best remedy for misunderstanding. It happens that a person from unexpectedness can stop answering calls, ignore meetings and act not judiciously.
Try to find the courage to discuss what happened. Otherwise, you risk losing not only your friend, but also your face. In order for the dialogue to be successful, first of all, it is worth giving an opportunity to speak out.
Before attacking an opponent with taunts and questions “How is that? I can not!", Try to think about the feelings of not only your own, but also the interlocutor. As one not careful word can very seriously injure and load complexes for many years.
Strive for constructivism and consensus, without going personal. If it is flattering for you to hear a declaration of love and you simply have played with it, then you should ask for forgiveness. But in the case when the phrases you heard were your dream for several years, then maybe this is for the best?
The heart is already taken!
Sincerity and purity, seasoned with good intentions, can be a lifeline in such situations. Surely, you watched films in which the main characters find themselves in the grip of love triangles.
To the phrase "I love you, not like a friend!"She can answer"And I'm married!”And at the same time, the faithful companion will make every effort so that she is happy and letting go of her will remain her faithful, faithful friend.
But in life this rarely happens, and it’s not quite easy to pretend that nothing happened when a friend enters your house every day. In order to be honest not only in relation to yourself, but also to your beloved people, it is worth putting all the dots on the “and”.
Each of us makes our choice. Sooner or later, the tragedy of the situation will affect one out of three people. Refusal and absence of treasured words "and me you too”At an early stage of origin, it will be perceived much easier than secret meetings, the desire to sit on two chairs at the same time is a terrible lie.
Be honest with people and react to the situation as calmly as possible. You should not make the drama of a lifetime out of this event. Adults can solve complexity reasonably.
Friendship is worthy of respect. And do you really cross out the years spent in helping and supporting each other just because you couldn’t talk openly?
Friends, I’ll put an end to this.
Subscribe to update my blog and recommend it to friends for reading. In the comments, tell us about what you did in such situations and what effective tips you can share?
If you are not confident in the feelings, do not categorically respond with refusal or consent. It is very difficult to refuse such words later.
If the recognition sounded suddenly, directly say that you have not thought about such a development before, you cannot understand emotions, you need time. You can, of course, answer with a categorical refusal, but this will most likely put an end to any further (not even romantic) relations with the lover.
Unfortunately, there is always the possibility that an unfortunate lover decides to take revenge on you in order to resolve the situation with unrequited love. Even if such an idea seems absurd to you, do not discount it, sometimes people behave inappropriately. Therefore, you need to respond as softly as possible, not allowing a person to count on a positive answer in the future.
Sometimes a completely unpleasant person whom you don’t even want to see anymore decides to tell you about feelings. Do not show your negative feelings about this person. Say that you do not experience reciprocal feelings and will not experience in the future. This step will help get rid of an unnecessary fan.
In response to recognition, if you asked for time to think, you can write a letter. So structuring thoughts and emotions is much easier.
There is a third, intermediate option - maybe you are not sure of the feelings, it may seem that you are experiencing weak, love-like emotions. Then it’s worth honestly saying that. In general, a frank conversation is a panacea in a difficult situation. It is necessary to explain to the person why you doubt the emotions, to clarify the presence of circumstances that impede the manifestation of feelings. Do not be afraid to offend a person who is interested in you by telling him the truth about emotions. If you are important to him, he will be able to discuss the situation and understand it.
From early youth, young boys and girls become interested in the opposite sex. These first loves often form our subsequent behavior on the love front.
Accordingly, each failure in relationships that occurred at a young age leaves an imprint on our behavior in the future. Teenagers, due to their inexperience and naivety, can step on the same rake more than once, which produces a kind of reflex: “love = failure”, which can be difficult to get rid of in the future without the help of specialists.
In addition, young people, unlike girls, also experience social pressure. According to the traditional concept of a “real man”, the guy does not have a moral right to express his emotions, which leads to the formation of complexes and makes the young man constrained and dry in relations with the weaker sex. In turn, girls from an early age are taught that the first step is misbehavior, and they should expect action from the chosen one.
Due to such attitudes, we can experience a lot of problems in relationships. It turns out a kind of vicious circle: a man does not show his feelings, because he is afraid to seem weak, and the young lady does not admit sympathy, because she is afraid to seem fluffy.
Based on this, only one conclusion can be drawn: it is necessary to deal with traditional installations and complexes that have developed against this background.
Say the coveted words
When you declare your love, only you can decide, and no one has the right to insist on these words. If your other half confesses your love to you every day, but you don’t feel the same way back, it’s better to do more neutral: “I like you” or “I am glad that we are together”. After all, a lie, especially a lie about such a feeling as love destroys not only relationships, but also personality.
But what to do when you are in love and ready to take the first step, but are afraid, unsure of the partner’s feelings, or just shy of taking the first step?
Of course, the easiest way is to write a message on a social network or SMS, this method will help you save face if there is a refusal, or even reduce the misunderstanding to a joke.
A romantic surprise, if it is well prepared, can not only convey your message to the addressee, but also help to draw your loved one to you. For example, it can be a courier with a bouquet of flowers or a gift and a beautifully decorated letter of recognition.
But, undoubtedly, the best way to convey the coveted three words to your beloved is to overcome your fears and say “I love you”, looking into each other's eyes with a smile.
Do not be afraid to declare love, and it will be mutual!